Sunday, January 31, 2010
This automatically brings me to the conclusion that almost ALL Ellusionist and Theory11 stuff is crap and should not be bought.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
If I could give this man advise it would be this:
1. Roll up your sleeves. Seems like you are hiding tattoos. (Even if you do, show them like Reed McClintock.)
2. The patter you are using in that little video is awful. Quitting cigarettes? Really? This has nothing to do with the effect. I would shut up and just say: "Just look, a cool optical illusion."
3. You are inside, Take off the coat. Everyone else is wearing a T-shirt, ergo it is warm.
The effect is nice though. But not his' of course.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Ah, Lithuania what beautiful country right next to the Baltic Sea. And from that great country a great circus family arose. And in it's latest iteration we meet Diana and Arcydas. I am not sure if their last name is really Gaičiūnas but their fathers name is. So this brother and sister duo... ah screw that intro...
They are WMF for stealing others acts.
See, they are frozen in a block of ice, he is crushed by a steam roller, he is separated in Laser-fashion, he walks up a building with an umbrella and they float between buildings. If you yelled Criss Angel, David Blaine and David Copperfield, than you are almost on the right track. This illusions are older than the three, but they made it popular. They are known for it. And those siblings copy their acts almost bit by bit. The whole staging, the camera angles... all the same.
There is a difference between doing an effect that someone else is doing and doing it the same freaking way.
So naturally I must assume that Diana & Arvydas are not creative. They are parasites.
Yeah way to go. Stealing entire acts, that's an age old circus tradition.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
And because of that... a few comics.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
MILF is about the magic individual. Criticism will only serve the group, but never the individual. Criticism hurts the individual. Therefore MILF will fight against any criticism, be it from a individual or a group. From a forum post or a blog.
MILF strongly believes that the lowest common denominator is important. Meaning that every one should perform like the weakest link in our chain. No extra work, no practice is allowed. We all have to be oriented towards the one individual that is just learning magic. In other words: Don't be better than the rest.
That is why MILF loves Joshua Jay and vice versa.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
"I cannot believe that you guys actually agree with dove magic and magic with animals in general. You liberal douches"
That is nasty. We are not liberal. We are bad ass.
It's not like the doves are in some sort of holder. They just appear. Like magic. When will they ever learn.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Wise Words of the day!
"Donate to MILF. Magicians in the public eye should always be immune to criticism unlike actors and singers. We thank you for your support and hope you all realize our militancy is in your favor. Have you smoked magician pole today?"
Here is how. We have made a deal with pretty much all the magic dealers. Buy crap. Buy all of it. Buy, Square Circles, Pom Pom Sticks, Genii Tubes, Flip Flops, Oriental Cubes, Die Boxes, Mandarin Hula Hoops, Water Torture Cells, Run Bunny Run, Where is the Mouse and of course you need a Bigger Magic Wand.
Part of the money goes to us and not to those filthy magic dealers... let the flag of hypocrisy wave high, above the horizon of the Internet. Above our own horizon. And please go out and perform, let the magic image be all about boxes and glitter. That way a French Drop is Killer material. Are you seeing the Genius in this?
MILF is for everybody!
Thursday, January 21, 2010
So why is he doing it? Obviously to compensate for something. His lack of skill, perhaps his lack of knowledge? Maybe he bought a magic item and was totally disappointed with the trick.
But that doesn't give him the right to shout out his opinion. Sure everyone is entitled to his own opinion. But not everyone is a magician. And because the man who runs this blog is not a limp-wristed yea-sayer, he is not a magician. Therefore he cannot speak in a authoritarian way about magic.
Here is a magician you should all like:
Because coloring your doves, so they match your props is a nice thing to do.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
After taking over this Blog and The Dead Magicians Society we want to move on. Bizzaro, you are a thorn in our eyes too. But your Blog seems to be protected by a much more complicated password. (This Blog used: "Magicians are stupid", which was easy to figure out.)
Also iTricks and the Magic Newswire are on our radar too. They actually dare to report magic news that isn't good news. Like the Pendragon story, or about the issues dealing with Steve Wyrick.
Please let us hack your websites too.
On this blog we found a half edited article, which was not finished. Roland, the German, probably didn't have the guts to publish it.
It actually dealt with Dai Vernon and that he was overrated. That he was just an old man, who convinced lots of people that he was oh so great, by years of telling the same stuff over and over again. While Roland says that it was great stuff Vernon said, it is clear that anyone with a common mind could have thought of all the stuff too.
We, the Magician's Independent Liberation Front, disagree with that notion. Dai Vernon is the best thing since sliced bread that happened to magic. How else would anybody figure out that confusion is not magic. Only a great mind like him could have thought this clever thought.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
This is day two of our hostage taking. We will not let this Blog continue with its vicious deeds. So we are now telling you some secrets about this man who runs the blog.
1. He wets his bed.
2. His Double Lifts need improvment.
3. He lies.
4. His patter falls back to "I am putting the coin in my hand"
5. He has no friends.
So that will give you a clear image that he is not a magician like any of us. As we do not wet out beds and out Double Lifts are perfect. We never lie and our patter is about the Emperor of China, our personal friend.
People need to understand, that magicians are everything but able to take hard criticism. You gotta use a light touch. Step by step criticism is much better. If a magic fellow has problems with a sleight, it is not due to a lack of practice. It is always the fault of the hands or the props.
More on this tomorrow.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Yes we hacked this account. This Blog has been taken hostage by us, the Magician's Independent Liberation Front (short MILF). Too long have we endured the terror of this little man and his "freedom of speech". We have seen what the "freedom of speech" leads to. Defamation, Slander and Lies. No longer will we accept that without actions. This is the first one.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Let me eleborate a bit further on yesterday's heretic thought. Slydini is a great magician, but he is confusing as hell. At least I do not interpret his "dance of the hands" as visual poetry, but as a deliberate attempt to confuse me, so he can get away with his magic. And because I read it as such, I somehow feel that his magic is less magicial. Because as the great "V" said "Confusion is not magic!"
Also his hands are often way too close to the table edge. So somehow I do not think that the audience is fooled. In fact I put that thought to a test.
Yesterday I showed all of the three videos to a few friends. None of them are magicians. And a few do not even know that I make my life as a magician. (They think I am a Stand Up Comedian or something like that.)
I tried not to give away my opinion of the the magician. And they took a look at the video. And they all speak English and they all saw it only once.
1/10 loved the magic and all of the presentation (the poetry and such)
2/10 could tell most of the time what was going on
2/10 hated the act
2/10 didn't care
5/10 thought it was alright
8/10 saw through the main method (lapping and loading from the lap)
4/10 could tell when it was happening (most of the time)
5/10 liked the effects, but not the magician
10/10 now know Syldini and think that it is a "clever" name.
I am aware that this is not nearly enough people to be representative so forget I said anything.
Slydini, you rule!
PS. I feel the prophecy is true. Tomorrow somthing weird will happen.
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Just in case you wondered. Here are a few tips how not to end up on my blog.
If you are a magic dealer:
1. Do not sell overpriced crap.
2. Do not sell crap.
3. Do not hype stuff before it comes out.
4. Do not makes wrong claims about any of your products.
5. Do not sell or produce rip offs.
If you are just a magician:
1. Do not suck.
2. Do not look or act stupid, unless it is part of your genius and not the lack thereof.
3. Do not claim to be the best magician in the world.
4. Do not fake performance videos.
5. Do not feel the need to boost your ego all the time.
If you are a magic teacher:
1. Do not claim anything as your own unless you actually came up with it.
2. Give credit where credit is due.
3. Be modest.
4. Do not sell half backed ideas.
5. Do not rehash your stuff all the time and tell others it is new.
And generally: Stay off the Internet! There are a lot of idiots out there who mean to harm you. I am one of them. If I cannot find you, you will not end up on this blog. But if you are good like Al Schneider, Max Maven, Lance Burton, Penn and Teller, Paul Gertner, Jerry Sadowitz, Jeff Sheridan, Richard Turner, René Lavand or Eugene Burger, you will be save from my wrath.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
I feel that something terrible is coming. It will last for about a week. Starting next week. It will happen, right here at weeklymagicfailure.blogspot.com. And four letters crawl up to my mind:
MILF - I do not know what it means, but it probably doesn't mean what it means.
Now I will go back to sleep. zzzz
Monday, January 11, 2010
Peter Austin is a US magician that really is into building magic apparatus. That in itself is not a bad thing... but this is:
It might interest you to know that Peter Austin asks for 2500 dollars for this ugly mess. While I think it is okay to ask for the price one wants, I also think, that this price is blown way out of proportion.
This makes it not only the "Best Square Circle" ever but also the most expensive one. [edited]
And of course like any good magician, who is off the right path, animal cruelty is a part of his act.
Poor thing. First the balloon thing, which could actually lead to a heart attack and then being taunted with a fake carrot, only to give Mr. Austin a motivation to put that rabbit down on that table. But splitting a rabbit, that is new. Oh, wait, no, it's not.
PS: I forgot to mention the fake applause in the first video. As if a real audience was there. And the red bow tie, the glitter vest, the fake smile, the sleeves, the big boxes, the unattractive design of the boxes and the performer, the self working nature of things, the cheap background, the low video resolution and of course the obvious hiding behind the props.
Edit: Turns out Mr. Austin is actually kind of nice. I got a little distracted by the phony look with the bow tie and glitter vest. Really, noone should wear that, unless you are in Las Vegas. Bright colors do the same. But a bow tie? That is so 1960's. So I am revoking his titel. He cannot call himself WMF anymore.
Since that Square Circle was made for a client, I have to assume that the design of that also was the client's wish. Thinking even further I assume that he will build you any design, as long as you are willing to pay the price that Mr. Austin thinks it is worth. (Of course you can still buy the cheap oversea version which might be the result of child labor.)
And I do not think that animals should be part of any act. No matter how much is taken care of them.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
That brings me back to my last Sunday Post. Cigarette magic is not obsolete, but you can clearly perform it for the wrong audience. It feels so awkward in this otherwise well thought out routine.
The routine lacks motivation. Why the flower, why the bird? But hey, somehow the music and the overall impression do get the message across:
"Magicians are nothing but clowns!"
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Often the spectators are mixed. That means that you got children, teenagers, adults, old folk, smart people, people who think they are smart, dumb people, people who know they are dumb and the average Joe. But sometimes you get into audiences who are pretty much all of the same kind. And I am not talking about a booked show at a KKK-meeting; Which I would go to, but charge about 10 times more (yeah I am a consumer whore).
What I am talking about is the gathering of people who have a shared interest not because of the interest but because of a feature that they have which drove them to that particular interest. Those audiences need special care. Here is a list of those groups that I have encountered so far.
Yes they are weird. Driven and lethargic at the same time. Knowledgeable in one field, a "don't care"-attitude in the remaining fields. Usually at the end of a school year I am booked for that type of people. And boy they are strange. They sort of like what the magician is doing, even enjoy being fooled, but still there is this rest of doubt. And this doubt is more about the other teachers that are present. Basically they are talking to each other if they all understood the effect. (not method) At first it was odd for me. But then I learnt the proper way of dealing with that phenomenon. Tell them the effect, right after the effect! "Oh look the coin has travelled from this hand to the other hand!" Somehow this gives teachers what they need. BTW: That one person which totally enjoys your magic during such gatherings is the janitor.
Talk about weird folk. The job of psychologists is to read other people and to help accordingly. Most often those psychologists are unable to read themselves. But apparently they cannot take a break from work. I had a show for that kind of folk. They didn't watch the magic, they watched me. And one guy asked me: "Do you like what what you are doing?" well I was tempted to say. "No I am only doing this for money." or "Yes, and in my spare time take magazines with pictures of beautiful people and cut out the eyes.", but I didn't. Here is how to deal with them. Avoid them!
3. Esoteric people:
They believe everything that you are doing. And I am not kidding. Especially if you are a mentalist. I had a show and did PK Touches. Damn it, I got such weird reactions. Not "Wow" or "Awesome" but that look that is saying "So what? I can do that too!" They seem not to enjoy magic. At least not the way that the common people do. Because they actually believe in magic, so if you perform magic for them it is nothing special. They are surrounded by magic all day. Here is how to deal with them. Talk bullshit. Read a self-help book or two and use that stuff and you are an instant hit.
One would assume that sceptics are the opposite of esoteric people. Not really! The also believe in something and are not open for new ideas. So doing PK Touches for them also results in that "So what? I can do that too!"-look. A typical line from those folks would be: "I can do that too, if I could do that!" Tell them that your magic is achieved by a clever application of scientific principles and you are good.
Policemen are people who probably got beat up as a kid. A typical victim. It might be a gross over simplification, but if you are a policeman take a look at your peers. If they are the kind of person who got into police work to take revenge, if you have to nod your head silently, then what the hell makes you different from them? Anyway... policemen hate to be fooled. They do. They hate it. To them it is an attack on them instead of an attack towards their logic. If you perform a magic trick the subtext of your show might as well be: "Look at me, I am so much smarter than you, you dumb idiots, get a life!" It might not be your intend, but if you ever had contact with a policeman you know that they tend to "use" your words and actions "against you!" So here is how to deal with them... keyword: Scam! Tell them about scams. Like the three shell game and actually perform it and then - and this is important - explain it to them. Tell them what to look for and all of that. It doesn't have to be a real explanation, but it has to sound real. And then they are happy.
Lawyer are the exact opposite of policemen. They were the kids in the school that were smart and beat up the kids that later would be policemen. They also hate to be fooled. So the same method applies. Tell them about scams and how to mess with policemen. They will love you.
Scientist cannot be fooled. That is what a majority of them thinks. Because they know much. But knowing a lot, doesn't mean you are smart. It also means that their own thinking makes it impossible for them to figure out a simple coin vanish. Because they take so much stuff into consideration, before they get close to the answer you are already doing the next effect. How to work for those: Fast paced. Don't give them much time to think about stuff. Always confront them with new material. Do that until you BREAK them. There actually is this point where they stop thinking and start to enjoy the magic.
Politicians are great. They also know about the lie as a tool to get greater reactions. They don't like to be fooled, but they lie so well about it, that it won't diminish the impact of your show. They react accordingly and are pleasant to work with. Aside from that, they are assholes.
For those of you that are not in the know: RPG stands for "Role Playing Game" and there are two types of players. The table top players and the video game players. It doesn't matter which one you encounter, both can tell you about orcs, elves and dwarfs. Those players are the best audience you can get. Seriously. They are like kids. The game of magic, the game of "let's pretend" is not a new concept for them. In fact they breathe that concept. But they are not dumb. They are smart and childlike. They actually enjoy a magic show, love to be fooled and react like hell. Here is a hot tip, how to be an instant classic among them: When you mess up a trick say this: "Oops, my mana is low!"
The unfortunate thing about this awesome crowd. They usually do not have the money or the time to book a magician.
A magician performing for magicians has to choose his material carefully. Here the list that will help you:
- avoid routines that are great for laypeople.
- choose material that use difficult sleights.
- you do not have to master the sleights. If they see it, the better it is.
- have one self working trick in there, but hide the self working miracle and call it your own "technique" that you keep a secret.
- explain one of your "secret tricks", choose the most difficult and most complex one.
- do not worry about flawless technique, as you are merely explaining.
- tell them you love them and that they are the best crowd ever.
- Fool them into believing you are doing a double (do it really bad) and then second deal the card.
But all of that you do at your own risk. Because magicians tend to "borrow" your stuff without asking.
Thursday, January 7, 2010
Here is a tricky question? Does exposure harm magic? The answer is not as easy as one might think. Yes part of a magic trick is the secret. If the secret is revealed no fooling happens, thus no magic. Really?
What is magic? Is it just the part of being fooled? I think not!
Would you go to a Stand Up Comedian, whos jokes and punchlines you already know? If you say no, I wonder how those overexposed Comedians make a living. Do they have a secret repertoire, that is never performed unless no camera is there? No! They do their standard stuff.
Why? People come to see the performer first. They want to see the performer do his act. Even though, they might know everything!
And I believe the same is true for magic. If the audience would know how the trick is done, and if they still wanna see you, that means you are a good performer. If you are entertaining people will want to see you. Even if they know how the stuff works. They might even enjoy the fact, that they know and still don't see. They might enjoy the level of difficulty that is executed oh so flawlessly by the performer.
Let's just say, that the Great Exposure seperates the men from the boys.
So does exposure harm magic...? Well, yes! Slightly. And does it harm the magicians? Not the right ones.
PS: Still no Internet. Things are complicated!
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Due to current events, the Internet has come to my attention to be a possible Weekly Magic Failure. In fact. It is the Internet that allows for "THE GREAT EXPOSURE". It harms Magic, as it harms the secret that is oh so important in our realm.
Of course I also see the advantages. It can show us effects before we purchase them.
Now we can see that the overhyped, overpriced Little Man is nothing but a steaming pile of shit on magnets.
But most of the time the Internet is bad towards magic. Not only because of "THE GREAT EXPOSURE" but because of the magic nerds who use the Internet to elevate their egos with websites that portray them in a good light. A light which rarly shines on them. Like Marti Brill, Daniel Madison and Dave J. Castle
Or to hype regular magic into oblivion.
Having no Internet right now makes me like the old way. In order to get information I need to call friends, read books and have to think for myself.
It was about time that he stops contributing. It was not a pleasant sight anymore. But why the big fuss about it? Can't he just quit like most people. Without saying anything. Sort of fading out? He calls it a change of direction. I call it "don't care!"
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Everyone had nice holidays? I hope so, I missed a post, about what I am truely ashamed.
And todays topic won't make it any better, because I want to talk about money. A very difficult topic, probably for everyone.
But I made the experience, that it is a topic in which several thongs have gone completly out of order. Some friends of mine are musicians, even some with several years of experience in Jazz music, playing in orchestras or studying in music universitys. And even a professor of Jazz music could never earn the amount of money an average magician does.
How come? I believe it is marketing and yeah laws of the market. But it has nothing to do with skill. Most magicians I know are far too expensive. Some friends of mine asked other magicians, what they are charging for their acts and then just charged the same. But they forgot the years of experience of the other magicians, they forgot that the other magicians are more professional, offer more for the same amount and generally do everything a bit better.
But those, sorry I have to say it that way, crooks, don't care about it, they just see the money they can make. And at this point they begin to seriously destroy the reputation of magic. If I ever spend about 500 Euro, thats about 700 Dollars I believe, for a magician and he does a bad job, I will never hire anyone for this amount of money again. And this really destroys the market and in that line damages magic itself.
Far worse, when you are an amateur and charge that much. Why should you do it? Because you don't need the money, so you can pick the jobs, that really pay? This is just plainly false, if you don't need the money and love magic that much, like you are always saying, then do it for free. Or become a professional and soon you will also rant about these crooks walking around and telling everyone, that they are professionals.
There is one thing that I take comfort in. And that is knowing that most magicians are liars, when it comes to money. Only some are honest and tell what they made the last year, month or gig. Most just tell bullshit to boost their egos. And there we are back to the neverchanging point, most magicians place their egos about everything else.
Even above magic.