Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Angry Man of Magic - Stop Thief!

My colleague has recently had a problem with theft. Of material. But not in the way you might instantly think. This is theft of props... at a gig... by the punters... punters who are expecting to be entertained with a few pieces of laminated cardboard and a rubber band, but will now suffer another card trick because one of their klepto klunt friends has walked off with the props.

Whisky Tango Foxtrot?

What exactly did this reincarnation of Forrest Gump's more stupid brother think he was stealing? This isn't the 'piece of cardboard to million dollar pot of gold' transformation that we've all thought suitable to bring to the working mans club. Nor is it something that can be resold on ebay for beer money. It's worthless to you, and everyone else.

Can you imagine the advert?

“Plez l@@k - mega magick trick!!! no idea how it works becuz I didnt' steel the instructions but sure YOU can work it out yourselfs. LOL. thanx for lucking” (all spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors are likely to be real, since he's the sort of person who puts the 'retard' into 'illiterate.')

In fact, to anyone other than a magician his haul is pointless. So why do it? Would you hang around the back doors at a rock gig, and nick Robert Plant's guitar if he turned his back to talk with another fan? (Actually, don't answer that - it was meant to be a proverbial question, but I realize I've just given you another business plan in your next 24-hour day release.)

We don't even have any money to pay a ransom. Was that your plan, Mr. Thief? Instead of pirating material from teh interwebs, are you on an exchange program from Somali and though that magic was the game to be in?

What Rainman doesn't even realize is that it isn't just the cost of the props. Sometimes it'll have a sentimental value (our personal prototype, or a gifted trick); or represent a great deal of time in manufacture or easing the product in until it's usable; or that we have to make rush purchases to get a replacement for tomorrows gig which is a 50 km drive north... while the only magic shop is 50 km drive south.

Hate. Hate them all.


Trickster said...

I had my close-up case stolen from a gig a few years back. Nothing of value to the thief but some of that stuff was near irreplaceable to me.
Some people are just scum and have no respect for other people's belongings. I think they get a kick out of being pricks and don't give a damn about making a buck selling stuff.

As I work at a community support centre and we regularly get broken into and burgled, my patience with moronic thieves is non-existent.

Roland said...

My rope got stolen ones... sucks...